What exactly is tantric massage (also known as tantra massage), synonymous with voluptuousness and sensuality, and which allows you to reconnect with your sexual energy?
What happens during a session? What are the benefits? Does it provoke orgasm? And what's the difference with Kashmiri massage? We answer all these questions and more.
Massage is one of the easiest ways to reconnect with your body and free your mind. Among the many massages available, Tantric massage takes this inner exploration a step further, particularly in the (re)discovery of one's sexual energy, which is none other than vital energy.
What is a Tantra massage? Where does it come from?
Associated with tantrism, an age-old practice combining spirituality and sexuality, tantric or tantra massage is an oil-based massage practiced in the nude, which may or may not be full-body, depending on what you want. In fact, it's a highly sensual massage that requires special trust in the masseur.
It is often equated with Kashmiri massage, which is an even more intimate version of Tantric massage. Both are normally therapeutic massages.
Not an erotic or sexual massage
But beware: first of all, there are wide variations between practitioners, and behind this unprotected designation you'll also find erotic massages, where the emphasis is on sex. So it's up to you to decide what you're looking for. You can also choose to experience these massages as a couple.
How do I get a Tantric Tao or Kashmiri massage?
Tantric or Kashmiri massages can be performed in different ways.
Individually with a professional masseur
It's important to choose your masseur carefully, so as to build a relationship of trust. This is absolutely essential for a Tantric/Kashmiri massage.
As a couple with a professional masseur
This can be an opportunity to explore new sensations together and/or to learn the basics of the practice.
As a couple with a partner
This is undoubtedly the most spiritual way to deepen the bond between lovers. Once again, this requires a shared respect between partners. The aim is to stimulate all parts of your partner's body in different ways, using slow, subtle gestures.
While there are no techniques or movements to speak of, the couple may wish to refer to books such as Michèle Larue's "L'art du massage tantrique et cachemirien", or seek the advice of an experienced practitioner. or ask a practitioner for advice during a session for two.
Tantra massage: at home or in the office?
Sessions can take place at home, in an office, or at a location of your choice, depending on your wishes and/or the masseur's possibilities.
How does a tantric massage session work?
Whichever way you choose to practice massage (couple, solo with a professional or not), certain steps seem necessary for a successful experience.
- A discussion before the first appointment: in order to feel completely at ease, it's important to clarify your expectations and set the scene during a preliminary discussion.
- Preparing the setting: if you're having the massage at home, you'll need to create a warm, Zen atmosphere: clear the space, tidy up, light a few candles or dim the lights, heat the room, bring some oil, etc. As with a traditional massage, it's important to set the scene by adding a little sensuality and eroticism.
- A time for welcoming and talking: the first phase of the session consists of connecting with the masseur/massee over a cup of Ayurvedic herbal tea or fruit juice, for example, as Ayn, a tantric masseuse in Paris, explains on her website. "We spent a good 20 minutes talking, before anything else," says Mina, a 35-year-old woman who tried a tantric massage. During her session, she was naked. It all depends on what you and your partner agree. As masseur Bruno Deck reminds us, this is also the time to make a commitment not to act on it, with the aim of enjoying the massage to the full, with no ulterior motives.
- An opening ritual: most tantric masseurs seem to include a time of connection to prepare for letting go. This can take the form of a short meditation, undressing time, etc.
- A massage time: depending on what you and your partner have decided, all or part of your body will be massaged in depth. Find out more about postures here. He put oil all over me and massaged my whole body," explains our thirty-something partner. I was very excited and a little frustrated at the end. He told me he'd stay on the surface for the first session to see how the feeling went. So we did it again a few weeks later, and indeed he stayed less on the surface."
- Post-massage solo integration time: this time is always set aside to integrate and become fully aware of all the benefits of the session. "I enjoyed the whole experience. I felt extremely relaxed and my senses were awakened. But indeed it requires a great deal of trust in the other person."
Why have a tantric massage? What are the benefits?
Tantra or Kashmiri massage helps to:
- Awaken your senses and body awareness;
- Develop energy (especially sexual energy);
- Create or consolidate the body/mind connection;
- Promote self-confidence and trust in others;
- Reinforce passion in a couple by transcending the carnal aspect;
- Prevent negative emotions.
The list is endless and obviously depends on the person and the session, but the aim is to find a perfect balance between mind and body, and to get the energies flowing.
Does this sensual massage induce orgasm?
That's not the aim. Tantra or Kashmiri massage is first and foremost a sensual exchange mingled with spirituality, inviting you to experience an inward journey. Therapist Didier Debuisseret explains: "Unlike erotic massage, Tantric massage is not intended to bring enjoyment.
Enjoyment is not an end in tantra. But if orgasm does occur, it's neither good nor bad, and will be welcomed with benevolence, like all other manifestations of the body. In a sex-therapeutic context, if there's a need to address an issue like anorgasmia, the approach might be different.
Reconnecting with your sexuality
In short, Tantric and Kashmiri massages are just one of the many ways of exploring Tantrism. While genitalia are not excluded, the emphasis is not on sexual arousal, but on a holistic experience aimed at spiritual fulfillment and mind/body balance.
These massages can, however, help us to reconnect with our sexuality, pleasure and desire, or to develop the bonds that bind us to someone through this exchange imbued with respect and love.